Namaste Monsoons

Dear All, Namaste!

Greetings from Pokhara on an overcast afternoon…if the pattern holds, a rain storm is due in about an hour or so as the monsoon has started a bit early this year. The sweet rains to wash us clean! And the thundering hail beating on tin roofs as humans take refuge inside while the corn in the field is brutally bashed! (In fact, Nepalis say the corn is now “sleeping” as in it is “prone,” lying flat on the fields, hopefully with enough energy to recover and still produce a decent sized cob…) Yes, the rains are coming and we are preparing ourselves accordingly. Many changes in this changing of the seasons over here in these Himalayan hills…

Perhaps the biggest and most glaring change to have occurred in my service recently is the changing of my host family. For many reasons, both expound-on-able in this post and not, this change has ushered in the next phase of my time in Nepal, which continues to amaze me with its newness, its sweetness, and its toughness too. While I may not have divulged too much in posts past about some of the more sinister social woes of this culture, (choosing instead to emphasize the aspects of this experience that continue to feed my heart and soul) there are certainly continual challenges I face daily as a result of the machinations of the caste system and the deeply entrenched notions of men’s and women’s roles that are still alive and well here. As I continue to live authentically and speak my truth to whomever I come in contact with in my day to day life in village, I can only hope the seeds of change, equality and mutual understanding are sewn, even if in the most subtle, or subconscious ways…

The family I live with now is comprised of myself, my didi (older sister) and my dhaai (older brother – my didi’s husband). I have stepped into this new family with full force - the work in this household being much and manifold! Hauling water from the sometimes running tap (copper or metal jug propped up on hip), cooking by fire on the improved cookstove didi and I made in our kitchen, (an awesome, 2 burner stove of essentially mud - adobe bricks we made ourselves - some of which have holes in them from which we fashioned a chimney for shunting smoke to the outside – we were trained by Peace Corps in making these about a year ago now, and I have made 7 stoves with women in village so far – a fun project and certainly a sure-fire way to dispel any fear one might have about plunging hands into piles of water buffalo dung to make the bricks/mortar mixture).

In my new home I have learned the art of making delicious dhal and diro (a black millet paste we eat twice daily now – Nepalis swallow it whole, I continue to chew it much to their insistence that I’m eating wrong) and generally living a much saltier, and decidedly more “miTho” (tasty)-er life here in Nepal. My didi is a powerhouse, and I am lucky that she understands when at the end of the day while she can keep working, I need an hour to retreat to my room to do yoga/meditation. Becoming a Nepali woman is tough! The “kam” (work) is endless, and sometimes the frustration at the disparity of effort exercised across the genders is hard not to feel totally put out by. (And yet! That frustration is also a call to action, is it not? Are we not here to spur these changes, to incite these discussions, and first off to lead by our own examples?) Assuming my role as another woman in the house has certainly prompted discussions between all members of my new family in an open dialogue about these issues. I am continually amazed I am able to have these types of conversations with people whose culture is often prohibitive of this, and also in a wholly different language, and with the goal of mutual understanding. Truly special. I have transitioned into a space where I am a fully integrated member of the family, and despite all the challenges implicit in that, I could not be happier to now live in such good company have such space to get our hands to the work together.

It is remarkable to think that my time here is now bifurcated in a both metaphorical and concrete way: Before I was living in a highly Hindu, emotionally aloof, essentially Brahmin (highest caste) home, who practice the proscriptive period rules for a full seven days (very uncommon, most all other female volunteers have to abide by 3 or 4 days maximum of only eating with one’s own dishes, not entering the kitchen/worship room/garden, not touching other people etc. while on their period). Yes, the challenges of living in the home of such a devout, socially mobile and financially influential family in village were numerous. They are quite different from the challenges I face now as I am living with the Dalit (lowest) caste and taking on lots of responsibilities within the home. My first living situation was very comfortable: water was piped right to our kitchen area and the tap never ran dry. The food was absolutely delicious (and there was always plenty of it – including milk). My host parents – busy, a bit inaccessible but certainly accommodating. I considered my rapport with them one of cordiality, but I was certainly more of a renter than a true “chorri” (daughter) in the house. However, their strict adherence to caste system practices was tough for me to observe and hard for me to understand living so closely with people of such fixed beliefs. (I’de need a whole blog post on its own to explain the intricacies of these discriminatory practices but for now think: not letting certain neighbors onto one’s porch, or feeding them with special dishes to keep “contamination” away or paying low wages to hire such workers to plant/weed/dig your fields). And yet! My memories of living in that “neighborhood” – the highest cluster of houses within my village, are also sweet! Running up the hill before daybreak! Listening to grandma incomprehensibly ramble on the porch over tea. Hearing the bells and blast of the conch shell while my host mom and dad lit incense and offered flowers to the pantheon of Gods morning and night as they completed their ritual daily “pujas.” So many mixed emotions about so many aspects of these people and places - I am still learning to inhabit such ambiguities with presence and grace.

My new household is with people from the untouchable caste, the period proscriptions last 3 days, there is lots more work to be done, no water buffalo and so no milk, the food is coming right from the fields, is often cooked by these hands, and enjoyed on mats made of rice straw on the floor, in excellent company, sometimes with the himals glittering off in the distance if it is not a cloudy day. Of course it is crucial to mention that it is also my didi’s – Kopila’s - land on which we are making the two plastic tunnels in which we will start our community nursery…Another reason moving host families has proved instrumental in the moving forward of my service in general! The last month and a half has been spent going to the woods to cut and haul bamboo (sweet ache of sore shoulders) to be constructed into frames on which we will place and tether the plastic coverings. My dhaai is head carpenter and while he tells me to lift this bamboo or pass him those nails, or use a sickle to hack something up, we exchange impromptu lessons in Nepali and English – my dhaai resolving to learn English “perfectly” before my service is through. One tunnel frame (sans plastic) has been made, and another still to go (See picture! Look closely at that skyline, those are some big mountains out there! The structure in front of the frame is my house!) A drum for simple, gravity fed pipe irrigation also soon to be bought, a bunch of digging and soil amending and prepping of sorts, and hopefully a lot of seedling starting to come. It is amazing to be moving this project along with momentum and with my new family/friends.

Smaller projects around my new home are also giving me much sustenance these days – planting radish beds with sunflowers lining the periphery – after having made a spicy, roasted sunflower seed chutney for the family from some shelled seeds Nir brought me from the US, my didi is now stoked to plant these flowers all around! Embroidery to keep hands busy while big rains pass, and always books to read a plenty. Yes, life certainly works in mysterious ways and as of late I find myself amazed at everything as it is manifesting all around. Nir too has found out his placement for his service and we must give Peace Corps major props and thanks for putting him in a village a mere 1 hour jeep ride and then a 1 hour hike (straight up a mountain, but that’s Nepal for you) from me, in the same district, and also able to see the himals from his home. He will be finishing up pre-service training in a few weeks and then headed to these parts to settle into village.

Blessings abounding. It is almost exactly the middle of my 27 months here, and I must say I continue to be enthralled by Nepal. This is certainly one of the most incredible, coherent, sometimes infuriating but always interesting, culture and places I have ever experienced and been a part of. Here’s to the next 13 months and seeing where all of this goes! Many thoughts and reminiscences of home flitting through my head from time to time, always a treat to hear about lands and lifestyles far off and far out...feel free to drop a line, if just to say a quick “Namaste.”

With maya and metta,

Aja/Jaya